Consider Readers First in Business Writing

By Dick Weiss
January 11, 2005 09:23 AM

I once worked for an editor with whom I had little in common. In fact, I think he wanted to fire me.

But when it came to writing stories that resonated with readers we found common ground.

"Start where readers start,'' he would tell his staff repeatedly.

Though that editor has long since departed (and I'm still hanging around), I continue to repeat his mantra to others and even mumble it to myself as I write or edit a story.

Start where readers start. It's a one-size fits-all kind of concept that applies no matter whether you are a business writer, a cops reporter, or a sports scribe. But let's take a look in particular at how it might change the way you approach business reporting.

Many business writers like to think they are writing for a more erudite audience. This is likely true. But some seem to believe that gives them license to use big words, to use the argot of their sources and to write long, unwieldy and abstruse sentences.

So let's first drop any pretensions. Never use a fancy word (unless you're writing about the Scholastic Aptitude Test) when a simple or more familiar one will do. So you might substitute sophisticated for erudite. Type in jargon for argot. And isn't impenetrable a whole lot better than abstruse? (I realize no one uses abstruse -- not even econ majors -- just trying to make a point, okay?)

Generally speaking, business readers are a fairly sophisticated bunch. But the readers, who run hospitals, probably know little about how to operate an airline. College administrators may be clueless about energy policy.

Even so, most of us -- whatever our level of sophistication -- are consumers and citizens. We want to know what's in this story for us. How does it relate to the world in which we live? What will change as a result?

So assume your audience is reasonably intelligent, but translate. One rule of thumb: the more complex the topic, the shorter the sentences. Take it one idea at a time.

Here's a lede I like. The story didn't win a Pulitzer Prize, but it concerns a complicated topic; one that involves numbers and, goodness gracious, a regulatory agency. Note how the writer, Jerri Stroud of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, kept it simple, addressed the everyday concerns of her readers and wrote in sentences no longer than 25 words (often much less).

By late fall, the Missouri Public Service Commission must make a decision about how people in the St. Louis area will dial telephone calls.

 

• Will we use seven or 10 digits?

 

• Will we have a new area code or keep the ones we have?

 

• Will we have to reprint our stationery or reprogram our alarm systems?

 

• Could we end up with two area codes coming into the same home or business?

 

• Do we care?

 

That last question has to do with whether anyone will turn out for hearings on the issue. A box ran with the story telling readers how they can participate.

Starting where readers start also means addressing their values. That's a loaded word these days. But let's strip away the red-state, blue-state stuff and define it this way: It's a sense of right and wrong. Your story doesn't have to take a position to address values. It should simply put them in play.

How many stories have we read about the tussles over national health care policy? How many have been framed as a battle between Republicans and Democrats; or doctors and lawyers or the wealthy and the poor. How many have put us to sleep?

Is the taffy pull what people really care about? Take a look at how reporter John Carlton addressed the issue in one city:

We have two first-class medical schools and a pair of the world's best children's hospitals, yet babies born in St. Louis are twice as likely to die before their first birthday as those elsewhere in the United States.

In a single sentence, Carlton of the Post-Dispatch, taps into his readers' value system. Most readers couldn't care less whether it's a Republican or Democratic program that fixes our troubled health care system. But just about everyone places a high value on the lives of innocents. People care about fairness and justice, and the equitable distribution of resources, especially when it relates to what goes on in their home town.

Notice that the paragraph starts with the word "We.'' It's a powerful word… one that suggests that reader and reporter… newspaper and community… are all in this together. And we're writing about babies here, not policy.

You can try this at home. As you think about stories on your beat, as spot stories surface, pinpoint the values that matter to your readers. Identify what they will want to learn. Write it in language that is comfortable and familiar to them.

Start where readers start. It might help you keep your job.

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Copyright © 2008 Donald W. Reynolds National Center for Business Journalism