Affluent Survival

By Jennifer Hopfinger
May 5, 2009 01:34 PM

Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying. And who better to poke fun at than the gazillionaires who contributed to the mess we’re in? The May 11th Forbes magazine cover story, “Survivor’s Guide for the Affluent,” isn’t entirely tongue-in-cheek, but it’s pretty humorous nonetheless. The teaser copy reads: “Uncle Sam wants your money, and the crowd outside the gate wants your head. How to survive the populist revolt against affluence.”

Writers Daniel Fisher, Steven Bertoni, and Devon Pendleton remind readers, with a famous quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald, that the rich are different from the rest of us -indicating that while the article is ostensibly written for the rich, it’s actually meant for those who are not, those who read Forbes because they aspire to be. But who knows? Maybe the uber-wealthy could use a chuckle at their own expense - they’ve gotten whacked pretty hard, too.

The article reports that carrots are replacing caviar at cocktail parties, Bentleys in West Palm Beach are passé, and there are 19 active listings at swanky 15 Central Park West in New York City -and the asking prices are plummeting by millions. “It's tough out there when everyone hates you - or at least suspects you had a hand in the collapse of the global financial system, the shredding of trillions of dollars of assets and the issuance of 5 million pink slips since January 2008,” the writers say. “The feds may be coming after you, combing through the wreckage of your business, looking for evidence to send you up the river. If Barack Obama doesn't raise your taxes, your populist state legislators will.”

The magazine does offer some interesting advice on protecting assets, sidestepping taxes, and “keeping your toys” - but it’s advice that’s only relevant to people with gobs of money. Most of all, the article urges calm. “Like the recession, the angry mob clamoring for your head will pass on,” the writers say. “It's still good to be rich.”

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Copyright © 2009 Donald W. Reynolds National Center for Business Journalism